Conrad

Ben Howard has a new album out and it's fucking amazing!!

My favorites fluctuate between Conrad to Time Is Dancing... I can't decide which one is my favorite yet. But they have been on replay in my car. I love the feeling of this new album. It's like a mixture of your favorite seasons with your favorite memories and that anticipation of something beautiful. Conrad is a pleasant and melodious song, soothing and intriguing.

Happy listening!

Promise Me

"Who am I, darling for you?" 

... How I miss the touch of his fingers on my skin, and the smell of his lips on my tongue. He's across the country while I'm stuck in a state of mind so hard to break through... 

Lately...

So much has happened in the last few weeks.

So many good things have been happening lately, but along with those good things came the changes one must accommodate. But, that's actually beside the point, it's the extra things that life has thrown my way that I'm most grateful for... 

A few weeks ago, I met the cousin of a friend. He is a Korean exchange student at Oklahoma University. At first, I didn't think too much about him, but as we got to know each other we discovered we had much in common. We both love soccer, and there wasn't a day that we didn't mention something about our favorite teams or players. We bonded over music and we toured the beautiful Minnesota. 

We said goodbye last Thursday. And I can feel the void in my afternoons without him. I don't know when I will see him again, or if I ever will. But I know one thing of sure... the fact that I feel the void of his absence means that he left a mark in my life. I can say he feels the same way too. His kindness and purity in his actions were unique and altruistic. He had no other intentions but friendship, and I knew it, which is why I miss him. 

I know if I ever visit South Korea, I can count on him to tour South Korea with me! I can't wait for that opportunity. 

And as usual, here are some pictures of him--

My cat and I

Today I spent the day with Talitha. 

We slept in, read, and relaxed.

We also took a few selfies! 

To Grow Up or Not To Grow Up, That Is The Question

This afternoon at work, my friend and I suddenly had the urge to listen to Ed Sheeran. Do you know how amazing he sounds? I am head over heels for this guy! :P

We literally played this song over and over again!

Sometimes, I know I say ridiculous stuff, but today we were completely off the wall!
Among other things said (and sounds we made), we finally found the word to describe this song: eargasmic! We laughed so hard someone had to tell us to quiet down.

I asked her if we were ever going to grow up. As if this was a choice. We looked at each other and started laughing again and said: "Nope! We're never going to grow up!".


It is comforting to know that a certain part of me will always remain playful and child-like. Life shouldn't be so serious. There's always room for humor.

Then I met a guy at my favorite coffee shop (there weren't any tables left so he sat down at my table across from me) and I caught myself talking very mature and "grown". I sounded so different, so sure of myself. I know the environment changed, and the setting was different, but deep down inside I felt more like myself when I was laughing my ass off with my friend.

So, maybe I don't want to grow up. And the cool thing about this is that my friends don't care how silly, goofy, or immature I am. There are boundaries and limits to immaturity, but honestly, why rush it!

So, be goofy, be silly, and be yourself. One day we will have to grow up... but not today! (This is the creative procrastinator in me!)

:)

P.S. Meet my friend:

The Music I live In...

I put my headphones on

Watch the world stop

Listen to my favorite song

Smile as I nod

...to every beat of the song.

Music can inspire, relax, heal and wake feelings that are dormant.

The biggest compliment I've gotten lately was regarding music. My friend said she didn't appreciate music as much as she does now, and it's all because of me! :)

We share the same office, and almost every morning I make a playlist to listen throughout the day. Or I come to the office in the mood of certain songs... and she puts up with my love for music. 

Music is a semi-intangible form of art. And Earth without Art is just Eh!

Have you heard the song Every Teardrop is a Waterfall by Coldplay? 

If not, have a listen :) 

I had the fortune to see them in concert a few years ago and I completely fell in love all over again. I mean I loved them already, but after the concert my respect and love for them grew even more. Truly an amazing band. They closed with this amazing song:

And yes, my heart did beat to my favorite song! 

Once upon a time in the early 2k's :)

I found some old pictures from the early 2000's when I was young, naive and skinny! Haha

The shape of my body has changed, my thoughts have also matured but I'm still a dreamer like I used to be. 

Deep down inside, I don't think we really grow out of that youthful phase. I think we'll always reminisce those days. But let's not forget that a few years from now, today will be "the good ol' days!". So let's make more memories!

Enjoy the pics! :D

“Anything worth anything doesn’t come easy.”

Today marks the end of my Spring Break.

But it wasn’t truly a break at all. I’ve been super busy and working extra hours to make up for days I’ve missed at work and to save money to pay next semester.

Although I did take a break and went to visit my older sister in South Dakota, I’m back home and the stress started to build up again.

For the past weeks I’ve been through an emotional rollercoaster that’s left me sick and more sensitive than the usual. You see, right before spring break I got terrifying news regarding my health. I thought my life as I knew it was over and I was never going to be the same. I was scared, extremely sad and depressed. I couldn’t help but think about everything I had done in the past and blamed myself for not having a legacy worth telling.

I went to South Dakota because I wanted to be alone. I wanted that solitude to let go of all the psychological bonds that tied me to fear and regret. All I wanted to do was “push the pedal down [and] watch the world around fly by”. I wanted to find comfort in music and the open skies. There was no one there expect my sister patiently waiting for me on the other side of the country.

After I came back, I heard back from an internship placement I was hoping to get for senior year. I didn’t get it. I immediately asked my self what was wrong with me. I constantly searched for a reason and I wanted an immediate response. But I never asked, I put it in the back of my mind and brushed it off. As if that wasn’t enough, yesterday I heard from another potential internship placement telling me I didn’t get the internship. At this point, rejection has become the norm and not the exception. I can’t help but worry that I will not find a placement before April.

This morning, I opened all the mail I have stacked up at home and read a letter from my doctor. Turns out that although the results of all the blood tests done were abnormal, it’s not as serious as I was told it was. I am relieved. But of course along with this letter came the bill, and to my surprise it was much higher that I thought it would be. It’s ironic that I’ve been pushing people to get health care coverage and here I am, uninsured with unexpected medical bills.

Anyway, I know all this might sound pitiful, but despite the lows I am content and at ease.

Last night, I went to my church for the first time in a very long time. I saw some of the kids I used to work with some years ago. They are so grown! They have become young adults (teenagers actually) and getting much taller than I am. The girls are getting prettier and the guys are getting even more handsome. The best part is that they still like me as much as they did when I used to work with them. Every time they call me “Peaches” I sense respect and care in their voice. They hugged me, smiled at me, and expressed how much they missed me. In that moment, I came back to life. I can’t imagine my life with out these moments.

As we were leaving church a little boy asked me if I remember when we used to play tag together. Of course I do! He was such a tiny little boy with the cutest smile ever! I had an intense and funny conversation about his teeth—and how he should care for them. We laughed, we joked and we reconnected again. His beautiful smile is imprinted in my mind once again.

I can’t help by wish I was still part of their lives. Maybe this is my calling. I find extreme satisfaction in working with children and youth. I also realized that they like me. Not just as a leader but as a person. Now more than ever I want to finish school and be an example to them. I want them to excel and be extraordinary. In order to expect that from them, I must also strive for excellence.

So, as I prepare to resume classes I’m hopeful and a bit more motivated. The rejections still linger in my mind, the regrets of leaving that special person still haunt me, but as Mat Kearney would say “anything worth anything doesn’t come easy.”

My vacation in South Dakota was very relaxing and nice. Here are some pictures: