Think of me

...because I certainly am.

Honey

I say “I like him” to all of my friends
I tell them he likes me too, “but he pretends”
We’re always busy and this sh*t never ends
Not quite so young but he still blends
Let’s dance in the night
and end this fight

Running in circles and coming back down
a smile instead of that frown
I know this ain’t hard, he can shoot straight to my heart
I got the honey and he got the money
I’ve got the brain, he makes it rain
Twenty-eight, here I am, with kisses for one man

I looked for nothing
…that’s when it happened

My rhythm-less body

Collided with his
hands fell in place, got lost in his embrace
One last glance, a kiss on the mouth and he went south..
I went my way and he went away

An end to something with no start
or a start of something with no end…

*This song is also inspired from Mat Kearney's song "Honey"

Wolftron

Last December, I met a very interesting person who loves music as much as I do (no, much more than I do). He is a very warm and friendly person who happens to work in the radio industry here in the cities. Aside of his professional career with music, his personal taste is very diverse but definitely unique and notable.

He introduced me to a few bands I have never heard of, but I was instantly won over by the artists. There is one in particular that got my attention the most: Kenny Choi also known as Wolftron. 

The man behind Wolftron is Kenny Choi. I know very little of this artist. I know he’s a Korean American artist from Washington and was in a band called Daphne Loves Derby. He left the band to focus on Biology. He is now working at a Cancer Research Center in Washington and is happily married. 

His music is very insightful and inspiring. We could say he wears his heart on his songs. Some people hit the gene pool lottery when it comes to creativity, talent and intelligence. This guy, is one of them. I hope he continues to write more songs. I would love to hear more of him, it's too bad I found out about him after his Daphne Loves Derby days. The lesson learned from this is to support the bands and singers you like when you can, because you never know what's in the future for them. 

I'd like to share some of my favorites:  

Sugar Skulls--

"Sticks of death, cigarettes I hate the smell of smoke but I've learn to hide it in.

And then when I'm old I'll damn these broken lungs I should've listen to my friends."

Stay Safe-- 

"I want to be the one who saves you from this world, you will be the one who saves me from myself"

Strawberry Eyes--

"Watch it burn, let's not care what anyone says, Let's not care what yesterday wastes, all that really matters now, is the escape. In our sleep, let's pretend tomorrow will bring, hope, that makes the darkest heart sing"

This is my favorite.. I would quote every single word of this song, but it's better to listen to it and internalize it. 

So, what do you think? :)

I was an emotional wreck this week.

This week has been so tough and I’ve already broken down twice. Besides that incident at school, today at work I couldn’t pull myself together.

I barely slept this week because of four major papers. One was already turned in, the other one was revised today with my field instructor and my field professor, the other one has been emailed to my classmates to be revised and incorporate it to a major policy analysis paper due this week.

The only paper left is a theory paper on a really good book I’ve been reading.

It’s almost midnight, but I am glad I have done at least 70% of the workload.

Despite all this weight on my shoulders, I consider myself very lucky to have a strong support system. I am surrounded by amazing people and continue to learn from them every single day.

At work, I got a few surprises that totally made my day and also made me cry a river of tears. I also received so much support from my friend and boss, and from my field instructor who offered to give me an assignment where I have to spend a few hours at local coffee shops doing homework to make up my hours!

Although life has been stressful and sleepless, I am super content to have people who make me smile every single day. I wouldn’t be anywhere without you guys.

Thanks to you all who cheer me up, who cheer for me and who support me and give me hugs when I need them.

Thanks for the Starbucks gift card, Pang. I can’t thank you enough for the kind words I get from you every single day. For the trust you’ve invested in me for this long and for actually making me feel like I’m worth a million! The laughs in our office are simply unforgettable. You’re such an awesome person and I feel lucky to spend my weekdays with you. I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

Maryan, you’re such a lovely lady and so caring. Thanks for the scone and the hugs, thanks for the kind words and for consoling my heavy heart. I know you totally understand my stress and frustration and I hope you know that I am also here for you when you need me. Like Maribel said, when we’re done with our degree it’s going to be that much sweeter.

Noor, you’re so cool for everything you have done for me, offering your help and putting your needs aside for mine. I truly appreciate the help and all the lessons I learn from you. I miss seeing you everyday, I miss hearing all the goofy stories and all the eye opening and interesting things you say. I’ve learned that no matter the distance, I can count on you. I hope you know you can count on me too.

P.S. This makes my night so much better, my cat is super cool for never leaving alone. :)

The look on her face is priceless! 

I should also include in this post an update about The 1975 (in case some of you are wondering). I ended up not going to the concert. However, my friend Min invited me to see them at StudioC where they were going to perform a few songs. I couldn't go either because of a meeting at work. But he did send me some pictures and footage of their sound check :) Matthew Healey is super cute!

Min in the middle, and Matthew Healy on the right. 

The Seven Deadly Sins of Marriage

At the beginning of this summer I decided to take a trip to the northern part of Minnesota, by the boundary waters, with my boyfriend at the time, my sister and her boyfriend.

On the way there, my boyfriend and I got into an argument that almost turned into a fight.
We drove for hours without speaking to each other, he was reading a book while I screamed and argued inside my restless thoughts.

Until finally he spoke and said “Wanna hear a poem?”

All I said was “Sure”

He read this poem…

The Seven Deadly Sins of Marriage
By Sherman Alexie

Envy

How odd to be jealous of one's lover's
Long ago lovers, when one should thank them
For their various failures. And strengths.
And odder, this desire to rank them

As she must rank them, but will never say.
Where is the handsome Christian? Or the one
Who said he wasn't married? Or the short
British man whose parents were far more fun?

And what about the existentialist
Who kissed so well she swooned in the street,
But was far too rational to feel joy?
I celebrate the men who preceded me --

Just as the bank celebrates its debtors --
Because they make me look so much better.


Pride

A female fan, upon meeting my wife,
Said, "Oh, wow, you must have a wonderful life
Since you have such a wonderful writer
For a husband. That book, The Fistfighter,

Is so charming. Your husband must be charming, too."
And my wife thought, What a literate fool!
Only the poet's spouse fully learns the truth:
We writers are the worst kind of cruel,

Because we worship our own stories and poems,
And what human can compete with metaphors?
Writers stand still and yet vacate our homes
Inside our fantasies. We are word-whores,

With libidos and egos of balsa wood.
We'd have sex with our books, if only we could.


Gluttony

If I were single, would I be thinner?
Do I overeat because I don't compete
With the flat-bellied bachelors? Or do we
Thick husbands look and feel thicker

Whenever our wives see a slender man?
Or does it matter? Of course, it matters.
I can't stick with any weight loss plan,
And though my extra twenty won't shatter

Any scales, I despise my love handles,
And often feel ugly and obese.
But my lovely wife always lights the candles,
Disrobes, and climbs the mountain called me,

Because wives can love beyond the body
And make mortal husbands feel holy.


Greed

Every summer, my wife travels to France
To spend a week or two with her good friend.
Of course, my sons and I welcome the chance
To de-evolve and cave it up, and yet,

I sometimes wish that my wife gave me all
Her love and attention. But it's selfish
To want such devotion. There should be walls
Inside any marriage. My wife can wish

For more privacy and solitude
Without me thinking it cold and rude.
She should have friends I rarely meet,
If ever, and I shouldn't let my needs

Become demands, but when I'm most alone,
I often wish my wife was always home.


Sloth

To save time, I put the good pots and pans
In the dishwasher and ruined the damn things.
And, once again, my wife can't understand
How thoughtless I can be. And, again, I sing

The same exhausted song: I forgot, I forgot.
When left up to me, the bills go unpaid,
The fruits and vegetables go unbought,
And the master and twin beds go unmade.

Once, when a teacher wondered why our son
Spent so much time lying on the classroom floor,
My wife said, "Because he's seen it often before."
On a basketball court, I will madly run,

But anywhere else, I will use sedate
Opportunities to pontificate.


Wrath

In the hotel room next to mine, women
Talk and laugh and keep me awake 'til three.
Exhausted and soaked with sweat and venom,
I stare at the walls and think of twenty

Ways to get revenge for their selfish crimes.
At five a.m., as I walk by their door,
I pocket their PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB sign,
And then, from my taxi to the airport,

I ring their room. "Who the hell is this?"
Asks a woman, still drunk and irate.
And I say, "Hey, I just wanted to wish
You a good morning and a great fucking day."

When I tell my wife about my adolescent rage,
She shrugs, rolls her eyes, and turns the page.


Lust

Yes, dear wife, we were younger and slender
(And, damn, I had terrible hair and clothes).
Our marriage was new, exciting, and tender.
Naked in front of me, you still felt exposed,

And I had yet to learn how to touch you
Properly. But now, sweetheart, I've memorized
The curves of your breasts, belly, and thighs,
As you've memorized me, and if we do

Each other less often than we should or need,
Then we can blame time's ground and pound
And not the lack of carnality,
Because, D, I still want to lay you down

Hour by hour, and make you cry for more,
As I cry for you, adoring and adored.


I absolutely liked it. I related so many of the author’s words to myself and my thoughts.

My boyfriend and I began talking again, and ironically we started talking about our exes.
I felt jealous of his past girlfriends but I didn’t express it.

The trip was adventurous, torturous, humorous and very nice overall.
It was a good trip.

The day we got back to the cities, we broke up.

I forgot about the poem, but I wanted to find it, so bad, but I was too proud to contact him and ask for the author’s name or the title. I finally remembered the title and I found it. I wanted to share this poem because we, girls, often relate to the very first part of the poem: the envy of the past.

Now that I think about it, that weekend and the days that followed I committed all seven sins.

You guys should check out the author, he’s pretty interesting and his writing is pretty cool too.

Let the emotions flow

I lost my cool today.

If I was to see myself from the symbolic interactionism approach, using my classmates as a point of reference, I would say I’m mature and assertive when it comes to school work and discussions. At least that’s how some of my classmates have described me.

Today, when it came time to check-in in our last class (one of my favorite) I totally lost control of my emotions.

One of my classmates was expressing how life was going for her, and how bad of an experience she’s having at home. She had teary eyes and a red face. She was about to cry.

Then it was my turn to check-in, I started out strong, expressing my frustrations from the loads of homework and how tired I have been lately, not only that but I’m sad I have to drag my mom along with my busy schedule. My parents work so hard to provide a comfortable lifestyle, and my dearest mother works so damn hard to make sure nothing basic is missing at home. As I was expressing how much I wished my mother didn’t have to work, and how guilty I feel for making her get up so early just so we can make it to work on time, I lost it.

The tears flowed from my eyes, gracefully, but they fell.

Then, all the emotions I had hidden away flowed along with those tears… I cried.

The girl next to me was crying too.

And just then, we all had tears in our eyes.

We all have been going through different issues: some have a mother in the hospital,  some no money left, some too much homework, some no real friends, some losing someone, and me feeling completely overwhelmed.

At times, I’ve felt tired of being strong. I’ve wished for someone to be there and just hold my hand. It’s my turn to be cared for… But I haven’t let my guard down, I can’t let anyone see the weaknesses I hide so easily. Today however, the emotions overran my consciousness and I became an open book, in public.

There was a sense of camaraderie in the classroom. Seeing how much we sympathize with each other gave me faith in my future colleagues, my professors and myself.

I am not alone.

And they are not alone.

Enrique

Enrique Iglesias.

His name alone is synonymous of beauty, male beauty. 

At least to me. He was my very first crush at the age of 11, and I'm still not over him. But you see, there's two phases to Enrique Iglesias. 

There's the super sensitive, shy singer/songwriter from Spain making it big, no I mean megabig, in Mexico. And then there's the Enrique in U.S. who made sure there was nothing left of the youthful, playful singer/songwriter Enrique. 

I am in love with the former. That shy smile that melted hearts still brings back memories of my own childish crush on him. Those mysterious eyes and seductive voice. He was perfect. 

He had a certain touch of innocence. 

 Was I the only one who had posters of him in my locker? Haha Yeah, I liked him. A little too much.

Yeah, his 90's look was the best! haha 

 Seriously, can he get any sexier?! Haha

The 90's definitely brought the best artists, and most handsome too. Of course I am super biased because I'm a 90's kid! 

Life changes so dramatically and the only proof we lived it is the memories and photographs...occasionally we resort to those pop songs we played over and over again... 

I like the less popular songs too:

And his covers:

Okay, maybe that's too much Enrique for the night...not without highlighting the few new songs I actually like:

Hope you enjoyed him as much I did! 

:D 

The 1975

I've been stuck inside the house writing papers and reading theories, history, and policies of social welfare. The only thing that keeps motivated is listening to music while I write or read.

I came across a band called The 1975, an English Manchester-based alternative rock/indie rock band from Wilmslow in Cheshire. Their song "Chocolate" has been on replay, the song is super catchy and I love Matthew Healy's accent! (Matthew is the lead singer), what would make them even cooler is if they cheered for Manchester United!... So, I went and streamed the full album online not expecting anything really amazing or good, but to my surprise I liked it! 

After I looked up the band, I realized the theme of the song "Chocolate", is indeed about recreational drugs and deviant attitudes of young people. 

A friend of mine told me Matthew wrote the song inspired by his sister who was a heavy drug user. I don't know how much of this is true, after all the internet is full of public opinion and speculation. But what I do know is that I am really liking this song and some other songs in their new album! Most of the songs reflect the attitudes of today's youth; Sex, drugs, fear, love and hope. Being immersed in the strengths perspective theory, I see the positive in this album, I see them as nonconformist and with a strong desire to explore those attitudes often shunned by society.   

I found out they will be playing at the Varsity this coming Monday and I am very tempted to go see them perform live. But if I go, will I be going against my own ethical values? I want to go because of the art of music, because of the whimsical and mysterious lyrics attached to the catchy and playful beat of the songs... but I can't help to think and I ask myself if their music is reinforcing self destructive behaviors already damaging young people's lives... 

Here's my favorite song of the album:

I shared this song with a friend and the only thing I could tell him is that I think I do have a darker side to my taste in music.