Thoughts

It takes many people to reinforce a biased idea about certain people or things.
But it also takes one person to change that preconceived idea or notion.

It was just yesterday that I was condemning men for their lack of care, responsibility and maturity, but today someone reminded me that there's good in every person regardless of gender.

Midterms week was chaotic and sleepless, not mention an empty stomach but veins full of caffeine. On Halloween (the worst holiday ever invented) I was probably a walking zombie from the previous sleepless nights. I still had two major papers to turn in.

With no time to spare at all, I had deprived myself from food for the last two days. I was staying awake with coffee and hot Cheetos. Yes, I was totally abusing my body. I have since cut down on coffee and the junk food.

When I mentioned this to my guy friend he asked me to have dinner with him, I had declined so many times because my priority was school and work. I declined again but he insisted. I finally said yes and agreed to meet him for dinner after my internship. When I was on my way there he asked me what I wanted to eat so he could order because the place was busy. I have been there a few times already so all I said was "just get me what I always get. No shrimp."

When I arrived, he came out to meet me and walked me to our table. My first surprise was to see our food there already. My second surprise was that he remembered my favorite food. It was delicious. That was the first meal I've had in days!

We had an awesome conversation and he was very supportive. He even suggested I take out my laptop and work on my papers while we were having dinner. So I did, I finished a paper while we were there. He had paid for dinner already and made sure I was warm enough (with hot tea). I was very content, and so was my belly!

A few days later he offered to pick me up and meet our friends, the weekend after he picked me up and took me to dinner and a movie. (side note: I like when someone picks me up, I've attached a meaning to this gesture) I had been insisting in paying but he refused every time. When we crossed the street, he made sure I was safe before anything else. When the theater got chilly, he took off his jacket and put it around my legs and feet. When he took me home, he stood outside his car and made sure I went in before he left.

This is typical of him, he does this for all his friends. He comes from a culture where friendship is exclusive and not many people are considered "friends", it is difficult to become part of that circle of friends. He tells me he's still very kid-like despite his age, and that he's not so mature despite his achievements. I respect that. He knows what he wants, he's financially stable, shy but has a certain sense of confidence, and is genuine and transparent.

I had a bad day yesterday, so he asked me to have dinner with him again. As we sat there, having ice cream for dessert I thought about all the qualities (or lack thereof) I often criticize in men. The lack of courtesy, chivalry, responsibility, care and maturity. He minimized those notions I have of men. He reminded me that not all men are the same. He also reminded me that I have an amazing circle of friends that help break down preconceptions and other barriers. The words he's said that are most memorable to me are these: "Love is about giving to the other person" "I like to see my friends succeed" and "Your name (Bea or Bee) means 'rain'"


Thanks for unknowingly challenging my strong opinions of men :)